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On fraternity.

To the men of UBC fraternities, past and present. It is not enough to be one of the good ones.

On fraternity.

Originally shared on Instagram · 8 October 2026

To the men of UBC Fraternities, past and present:

Every time I have heard a woman tell me her story.

Every time I have been harassed on the street.

Every time I have had my boundaries crossed by a man.

Every time I have had my ‘no’ ignored.

I sit and I steep in the guilt.

That I knew what was happening and did nothing.

It’s not enough to be ‘one of the good ones’.

It’s not enough to be the man who lent the sobbing sorority girl your sweater while you walked her back to Pan Hel after the party.

It’s not enough to choose not to rape, knowing it is likely happening in another room in the house, or the basement, or the laundry room, or, or, or.

Every single time, I ask myself:

Why did I wield all the privilege in the world and choose to be a coward?

Why did I not use every ounce of political power at my disposal to ruin your life, like you did to her?

Why did I need to feel the fear, and violence, and pain, and shame, and grief myself to finally accept that it is, indeed, all men?

To the women of UBC, and especially UBC Sororities:

I know over the years I have reached out to many of you individually to tell you how deeply sorry I am for standing by while you were harmed, but I could spend the rest of my life apologizing, and it would never be enough.

So from the bottom of my heart, I am so, so, sorry.

You deserve better.

And finally, to my brothers for life:

Do you remember the night my first best friend died of a fentanyl overdose?

Do you remember how you let me get blackout drunk to numb the pain?

Do you remember how you took me out back to the dumpsters, gave me a baseball bat, and let me smash as much furniture as I could until I crumpled into a ball and sobbed myself to sleep?

You do not have to experience the violence to have empathy.

You do not have to transition to understand the pain of women.

You already have it within you.

It is never too late to own up for your sins.

Become the best version of yourself.

Sincerely signed,

Aaron Bailey ΦΔΘ BC Alpha 1450

Opening slide of the letter to the men of UBC fraternities; its words appear in the post above.
An archival group photograph of fraternity members outside.
Text slide: it is not enough to be one of the good ones; full wording appears above.
An archival photograph of friends at an outdoor gathering.
Text slide asking why privilege and political power were not used to intervene; full wording appears above.
A celebratory student photograph with the words The New President.
An archival photograph of Grace speaking at an event.
An archival profile screenshot with photographs from student life.
A key beside a name badge reading Aaron Bailey, President.
Text slide apologizing to the women of UBC and UBC sororities; full wording appears above.
An archival photograph of four people at a student event.
An archival selfie with friends, captioned Afc with the prez.
An archival photograph of friends outdoors.
Text slide recalling friends’ support after a bereavement; full wording appears above.
An archival indoor group photograph.
Text slide calling for empathy and accountability; full wording appears above.
An archival photograph of a gathering seen from behind.
The letter’s signature: Aaron Bailey, Phi Delta Theta BC Alpha 1450.
An illustrated portrait with glasses on a red circular background.