On the final trip.

October 25, 2022

“It’s been over ten years since I’ve opened this journal. Many, many things have changed over this decade. I left home, fell in love and in love and in love, chased my dreams and caught them, travelled the world, came home to myself, stood up for myself, lost a lot, but gained so much more. I’ve learned that life is simply a series of transitions strung together by the constant fluctuations of my brain. Manic high to depressive low, over and over again. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

A new transition is just on the horizon now. In nine days I am moving across the country from San Francisco to New York City. I don’t know how long this stop will be, or if I’ll be forced to flee for my safety, but my gut says it’ll be a good one.

I’ve picked up a habit for processing these changes. Today, me and the people who have touched my life and left the most lasting fingerprints in the past five years are joining me for my final ritualistic trip through Golden Gate Park. These people have carried me through every peak and valley, and they will literally carry me through the day (on a sprained ankle, no less).

In the tradition of the pioneers of these journeys, I set intention. Today, I say goodbye to the place where I grew up and into myself. I honour those who bore witness to this growth. I release the pain I’ve carried this year, and I forgive those who caused these wounds. I forgive myself for letting my anger cloud the love I have for them.

Today, I close this chapter with an open heart and a clear conscience. I step boldly and without fear into what comes next. Because I’ve been here and will be back again, but always a little stronger than before. Keinehora.”